Canada's Day
by Moyashi.beansprout
Summary: USXCANADA AND EVERYBODYXCANADA  Every year, on July 1st, all the nations inexplicably realize that Canada is the "one" that they've been searching for. But which person is right for Canada? Read and review! Happy Canada Day!


Title: Canada's Day (cheesy, I know)  
>Warnings: Yaoi, slash, IU, OOCness (probably)<br>Couplings: AmericaxCanada and EVERYONExCanada.  
>Enjoy~<p>

**(A/N: The first portion of this chapter will be done using a series of text messages sent between two people, in case you were confused.)**

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><p><strong>From: Matthew Williams<br>**Hey Al, you up?

**From: Alfred Jones  
><strong>Yeah wats up?

**From: Matthew Williams  
><strong>I'm worried about tomorrow :(

**From: Alfred Jones  
><strong>y? its ur bday! Ur gonna hve fun!

**From: Matthew Williams  
><strong>Al, weird things always happen on my birthday. Like last year, everyone was acting all strange towards me and stuff. And weirdest of all, they all noticed me! And NONE of them forgot my name! Not even Kuma-roro!

**From: Alfred Jones**  
>That s weird... must b 1 of thos inexplicble mystries of teh univrse.<p>

**From: Matthew Williams  
><strong>Alfred, can you stop texting so badly? Please, it's hurting my eyes.

**From: Alfred Jones  
><strong>Fine, I'll turn on the "suggested spelling". Gee, bro, you're so nit-picky.

**From: Matthew Williams  
><strong>Two questions. Firstly; "nit-picky" was really in the dictionary of your phone? And secondly; was it off before?

**From: Alfred Jones  
><strong>Yeah, it was off. It gets annoying. Like when I try to type in hard-on it changes it to Garson.

**From: Matthew Williams**  
>America, I don't even want to know what you've been doing that would involve texting that word.<p>

**From: Alfred Jones  
><strong>You jelly? XD

**From: Matthew Williams  
><strong>You dense moron... I'm going to sleep. See you in the morning.

**From: Alfred Jones  
><strong>Night, Canada~!

**From: Matthew Williams  
><strong>Night, stupid brother.

**- The next day -**

The world meeting began like usual that morning. Everyone took their seats quietly. There was a vacant spot beside America, but nobody noticed, not even America, who had stood up and was blabbering something about it being someone's birthday.

Suddenly, all the small conversations in the room died as a certain nation walked through the door, looking unsure of himself. He was met with a round of applause from everyone at the table.

Canada groaned loudly. "Goddammit, not again, eh?"

He took his seat bemusedly, noticing how every single nation seemed to be staring at him, whether subtly or not. He said in his usual quiet voice, "Can we just get this over with?"

At the head of the table, Germany nodded, and went back to his usual demeanour. "Well, anyway, the next item on today's schedule would be to rearrange the seating arrangements, as we decided last time that they were ineffective."

Hungary raised a hand.

"Yes, Elizaveta-san?" Germany addressed the brunette nation, who tossed her hair behind her shoulders and then placed her hands on the table, smiling sweetly.

"I would like to sit beside Canada-san."

America stood up in anger to this, and said loudly, "No!"

But nobody heard him, as almost everyone else was busy protesting how they wanted to sit beside the younger nation.

"We're bros!" yelled Prussia.

"Technically, him and I are more bros than you and him are!" shouted America.

"We have a history!" said Russia.

"So do we!" replied America.

"He's nice to me!" asserted Cuba.

"He's nice to everybody!" retorted America.

Canada was sitting in his chair, blushing and looking down, when suddenly he felt a breath on his ear. He jumped, shivered, and whipped around to see France standing there with a devilish smile.

"Mathieu... You look simply magnifique today, mon petite," drawled the older man seductively.

"Oi! Get your bloody hands off of him!" Canada turned to see his other dad looking extremely annoyed. The English nation said slowly in a menacing voice, "Let... him... alone!"

France pouted, and then ran back to his seat, singing, "I'll be baaaack!"

Canada shuddered.

America stopped yelling at everyone for a second and realized that England was talking to Canada in a low voice, and Canada seemed to look relieved. America naturally assumed that the older nation was trying to molest Canada's mind with his eyebrows, and pulled Canada out of his chair, putting two protective arms around him.

The room went silent except for Canada's small occasional whines of "America" and "stop".

The American said, with fury in his voice, "Now, everybody listen up. I don't know why everyone in this room seems to have fallen for my brother, but it won't be tolerated. Canada," he tightened his arms around his brother's torso, "is mine. Anyone who says otherwise can suck my dick because I know him better than any of you do. You people ignore him, day after day, and even if he tries to speak up nobody listens. And now you think you all deserve him? Well, let me ask you all a question. What gives you the right to-"

America was interrupted by a squeal from Poland. "OMG, Mattvey, you are so cute when you're being restrained~!"

All the other nations advanced on Canada as America dropped the nation in shock.

"Wait, did you even listen to me?" said America disbelievingly.

Canada shot him a "now you know how I feel" look before being swept away over the crowd.

**- Half an hour later -**

Through much begging and reasoning, Canada had managed to convince everyone to stop trying to rape him (for the time being) and sit quietly and listen.

"All right, look," he began. "All... all this attention is really awkward for me, and I don't know why you're all acting so bizarre and... affectionate... But okay, so listen. If any of you wants to get into a relationship with me for whatever stupid reason you have, then you need to try and get to know me better! I'm not going to date any of you unless you can prove to me that you deserve me and that we would make a good couple, all right?"

There was a general chorus of "hmm"s and "ooh"s and then "okay"s and "if you insist"s.

Canada stood up, and said, "I'm going home now."

Everyone nodded, and then shouted in realization, attempting to follow the younger nation out the door.

**- At Canada's apartment –**

Canada had been home for no less than 13 minutes before he heard his doorbell ring. Clad only in maple-leaf-design trousers with a towel over his shoulders (having been about to take a shower) he reluctantly made his way to the door, and unlocked it, opening it.

Greece was standing outside his door, holding a small white kitten in his arms.

"What's up, eh?" asked Canada bewilderedly.

Greece smiled broadly. "This is Kimba!" He held up the kitten for Canada's inspection. "I was wondering if he and your pet Kumajirou might like to get to know each other better so I brought him over for a playdate, and I thought that maybe while they played, we could have our own playda-"

Before he could finish the last syllable of the word, Canada interrupted him rudely, saying, "Um, Kuma-bear would eat him," and slammed the door in the nation's face.

On the other side of the door, Canada was panting in shock. Surely that speech that he had given hadn't given anyone the idea that he had intended for them to pursue him, had it?

As if on cue, the doorbell rang again.

Canada opened the door to see a confused Greece standing beside Hungary and Ukraine, who were all smiling politely at Canada.

He sighed, and said, "Well, I guess I can set up some sort of speed-dating session for you guys to get through this faster."

To himself, the nation thought, _Worst birthday __**ever**_.

**- To be continued -**

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><p>Hey guys! So, I know this chapter is absolute glorified crap, but I really really <em>really<em> wanted to put some AmeCan up for Canada Day this year, and so I thought to myself- You know what'd be funny? EVERYONE perving on Canada. Sooo this is just the first chapter of what will be a fairly decent (hopefully) story, and I hope to have this updated asap, but I know for a fact it won't be today, because that would end up producing even shoddier writing than this ;D So, Happy Birthday Matthew Williams, and to all my fellow Canadians, happy Canada Day~!

Important: Also, for the speed-dating thing, these are the countries I have set up right now. If you'd like to add a potential "date" for Canada to the heap then feel free to suggest it in a comment!

France  
>Belarus<br>Russia  
>Ukraine<br>Greece  
>Poland<br>Hungary  
>Spain<br>Romano  
>N. Italy<br>Cuba  
>Germany<br>Prussia  
>America<p>

Okay, see you soon!

~Gaarin


End file.
